Well, I turned 22 on Friday. I am really not sure how to react or respond to this new fact. I don't feel older but I know that I am. I don't feel 'young' anymore but I don't feel responsible or 'mature' yet. My youngest brother put it into perspective for me as the family was sitting around the dining room table getting ready to play a game of Clue. He started off with "Ya know, it's weird, you are no longer 'young woman' but now you are just 'woman.'" My first thought in my head, this happening at the same time that my heart started thudding out of my chest and color rushed to my cheeks, was an immediate "Oh, crap! What am I doing? What is happening?"
Good question, huh? Well what's happening is simple; I am growing up (much too quickly for my Mom's liking I believe =D). The thought is interesting in and of itself. I really never thought I would get this far in life because I had never imagined this far ahead...really. I remember when I was four years old and sitting in the living room watching The Little Mermaid and thinking to myself; "Wow! Ariel is so cool and so mature, I can't wait to be sixteen!" Well, sixteen has come and past and my views on Ariel have changed, a lot. While I still love that movie I now see how naive and immature Ariel was. I can only hope that I have matured past the level of a sixteen year old, sometimes I often wonder. ;)
Taking a look back at everything I can see how God has used different experiences to mold me into the 'woman' I have become. It's weird, not going to lie and say that is not to call myself a 'grown up.' I remember looking up to the seniors I came into contact with my Freshman year in college and thinking how cool and confident they seemed. They seemed to have it all 'together' and were making plans and changes to their lives which would determine what the next phase in their life would be. Now here I am in that same position. I do not feel grown up or mature in the least but I do find myself thinking grown up thoughts.
Numerous people around me are thinking about jobs and moving away, graduate school, and marriage. While I do all of these things have crossed my mind a time or two, okay to be honest the first two keep me awake at night, I have found solace in knowing everything has passed through God's hands. He knows where I am to go and He knows the path which I will wander down in search of His will for me.
At the moment I feel the calling to sleep. :)
Hope you are all well and enjoying this beautiful fall weather.
Love,
Hollyann
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